Bridesmaid Etiquette


Attention all bridesmaids! When your girlfriend asked you to be in her wedding you squealed with delight and thanked her for thinking of you. Now that it is time to actually be a bridesmaid and follow through with your duties, do it with thoughtfulness and grace. Please remember that agreeing to be in a wedding is an honor, but at the same time it is an expense. You should be prepared to put aside time, money and personal opinions during your journey to your best friend's wedding.

First and foremost remember that this wedding is all about the bride. The dresses are a reflection of her personality and taste. Although some brides allow their bridesmaids to pick out their own styles and others try to find styles that the girls can potentially wear again, the etiquette is for the brides to pick out the bridesmaids gowns. She is creating a backdrop for herself and her groom. You are supposed to be in the background like a backdrop on the stage of a broadway play. She is the star, and you are part of her supporting cast. The bridesmaids should work together to make the bride look good, and if she thinks that you all look good then she will feel confident. Remember that she is spending thousands of dollars on her photos and she needs to love the story that she is illustrating in her wedding album.

Now that the dresses are picked out, it is time for you to get measured and pick your size. There are a couple of options for you. The ideal situation is for you to go to the salon where the bride is registered and get measured by those professionals. Usually, they are familiar with the designer and his or her sizing. They will measure the fullest part of your bust, the smallest part of your waist and the largest part of your hips. Think of your body like an hour glass. They will measure all of the extreme parts. In addition, they will ask you your height. Extra length may be required if you are over 5'9". After all of your numbers are written down, the salon fashion consultant will take out the size chart that pertains to that designer and plug your numbers into his or hers. Now, this part of your journey is a slippery slope. Get ready to be shocked at the size they suggest you to order. It will not be the same size as your jeans. These bridesmaids dresses have no spandex in them. Most casual wear has a percentage of spandex in the make-up of the fabric unlike these dresses that have no give to them at all. Typically, you will need to order 1-2 sizes larger than you are accustomed to. But, that is ok. Your goal is to be classy and beautiful. These dresses should fit loosely. You should not have chicken skin hanging out from your underarms or back cleavage at the back. So, when you are comfortable wearing a size 4 jeans, and the size chart states that you need to order a size 8 dress, swallow your pride and place the size 8 order. Nobody will know what size you are wearing unless you pull the tag out while you walk down the aisle. You do not to look or feel like a stuffed sausage. You will be uncomfortable and look heavy. Also, everyone looks thinner when their clothes are a little loose fitting.

Now that the size is chosen, get ready to open your wallet. Remember that you agreed to be in this wedding, and that in doing so you have a financial responsibility. If at this time you decide that you cannot afford the dress, call the bride and politely state your facts. Times are tough and the economy is bad. If the bride is your true friend, she will understand. Sometimes she will even offer to pay for part or all of your gown. The most important thing is not to skimp on size in order to save a few dollars. Usually there is an additional charge for sizing above a size 16 and for extra length. You will end up spending more money in the long run if you do not order a big enough size. Be smart, and communicate with your bride. She wants to share the most important day of her life with you. She wants you to be happy with her and love all of the decisions she has made.

Nowadays, bridesmaids cause great stress for the bride. These poor brides have enough to worry about without this added stress. Each and every bridesmaid should take responsibility for herself, do the right thing and make sure her bride is happy and as stress free as possible. Please remember, you are a reflection of your bride. You are not supposed to be looking for attention, rather you need to look classic and elegant and be a quiet reflection of the bride's taste in people and in fashion. If a problem does arise try to handle it without getting the bride involved. Bridal salons are responsible for the fit of bridesmaids dresses. They want the bride to be happy too, so they will make sure that you look and feel good. Each wedding is like a fashion show with the salons name all over it. So ultimately the salon wants everyone to look and feel good so they will look good.

Attention all bridesmaids!
Buckle up for you journey because it's going to be a bumpy yet terrifically fun and exciting ride.

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